The Dole Office

Department for the Workshy & Perturbed

Choosing an Employer


If we put you forward for any job, then you have to attend the interview and at least pretend that you care. Even if the job is the most boring, tedious and mundane task, it’s our job to ensure that you go for the interview. If you don’t, we’ll stop your benefits.


We are paid commission for each job referral we give out. There are weekly targets which have to be met and you, the unhappy dole-sponger, are small fish in the large Dole Office pool. If we find a job that we know you’ll hate, then we’ll put you forward for it and you’d better get the job. On top of the monthly commission, we get a bonus for each month your remain in gainful employment. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? You benefit by gaining employment, and we benefit from lining our pockets with lovely tax-payer’s cash.


Your cash.

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